Who am I?

If you know me, you will know that I talk alot. I practically have an answer for everything. My Mom and brother are very quiet, My Dad was also a quiet man. My siblings from him are not so quiet but I take the cake for being the most talkative. I was one of those kids that got kicked out off class because I would annoy my teachers with my yapping. Those who attended varsity with me will also tell you that I was one of those annoying students who contributed to the lecture being long when they just wanted the lecture to finish or to go out for their smoke breaks. Yeah I am one of those. I must say though, it got better with growth (I think).

Now in my period of being unemployed I realised something. Everytime I go to an interview (I have had a couple) and the "Who is Simnikiwe" question pops up I take long to answer it. Like really long, that awkward silence long. Eventually I end up answering the question but it is never about who I really am. The last interview I had, well this one wasnt really an interview but an audition. I was asked to describe myself in my mother tounge. I wanted to cry. I was so shocked. I know my mother tounge but come on describing myself in my mother tounge felt like an impossible thing to do. Needless to say, I failed at it dismally. The camera man was laughing behind the camera and the lady auditioning (she's Afrikaans) said : "I am not Xhosa but I understood most of the things you said". I wanted to die so I asked her to give me another question and she asked what my hobbies are...Thats when I thought "there's no winning here" I told her what they were in ENGLISH and justified it by saying " There are no Xhosa words for my kind of hobbies". I was telling the truth though. What's facebook and Twitter in Xhosa?... Exactly my point. It was a fun experience though.

So through my job hunting, I have been forced to do some introspection, it has been so difficult because this involves looking in deep at myself and tracing back things that made me who I am. Obviously for work purposes I will have to omit the gory details. I wanted to go further and just find out who I really was and what I stood for. Just like I always have an answer for everything in an instant, I also wanted to answer the "WHO IS SIMNIKIWE" question in an instant.

Now I can say I have two answers of who I really am (workwise and growthwise)

I am not just an empty vessel that makes the most noise anymore, now I talk like this cause I can back it up,  LOL.


Sims
xxx

I call it bravery

Hello Everyone

May, has been crazy for me.

It started well and it also ended well…..The in between part  suprising. Apart from coming to Johannesburg not knowing where I will be sleeping back in 2008, what I did in May was one of the bravest things I have ever done. Ok, let’s get to it. I resigned from my Job. For the first time in my life I decided I will not settle for less than what I want. Don’t get me wrong, my ex-boss was and still is awesome at what she does and her drive is bananas. I can’t see her doing anything else, we got along and we had our inside “jokes” but workwise I wasn’t doing what I really wanted to do. I was scared of resigning because I didn’t want to seem like I was ungrateful for the opportunity I was given. It also hit me that, me staying at my previous job would be a waste of the company’s and my time, as difficult as it was I finally got to do it.

I have been at my place looking for a Job.  I haven’t done it properly though because I was preparing for my graduation, running around doing this and that. June is something else I’m winning already!

On the third week of May, my Mom came to Johannesburg for my Grad.  It was beautiful to be in that environment and to realise that my sleepless night were not in vain. For some reason when the Vice chancellor was giving a speech I had the “oomph” to do it again, yes, I mean go back to Varsity and further my studies. I forgot all about the mumbling that I did when I had an assignment due and 3 tests in one week. I just wanted to do it right there and then. At the beginning of the year I did have a talk with some of my peers about how I wanted to go back to Varsity, well in this case UNISA. For some reason I am not really satisfied with this current qualification, there’s more to it and I want it.  Not necessarily now, but I want to do it.

My Mom being here has given me that extra drive, I look back at where I come from and realise that I have been blessed with so many opportunities. She sacrificed a lot for me and all I want is to honour her for all that she has done for both my brother and I, but now I am a statistic (I am part of the unemployed South African youth) so where to from here? In my stepping out of faith, I didn’t want to entertain such thoughts so I won’t. When I told some cousins and friends that I have resigned from my job, they gave me that “are you mad reaction?” I can’t say I wasn’t expecting it. Initially I was scared of telling my Mom and Brother thinking they would force me to stay at my previous job so I can pay my bills, and boy! Was I wrong? They were not part of the decision making but they supported my decision and for that I am grateful.  The quest to become one of the Best Public Relations Practioner continues. The faith I have suprises me sometimes. I’m still hopeful as ever. I haven’t made or had time to feed any doubts.

I got the emails, BBM’s and tweets telling me to blog, not neglect my blog. My modem was acting up and I need some time to regroup without offending anyone. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog.

PS: CONGRATS TO ALL MY FELLOW PRP’S THAT GRADUATED LAST MONTH J

Sims

xxx