Bitter me

Oh my word!! I am not even going to justify my absence. Is it too late to say HAPPY 2013? Hahaha. Three months into the year? Oh well.

I am outing myself. I feel like there should have been a how-to-be-an-adult manual. I have been having a lot of: “I can’t do this growing up thing.” I am forced to be one (adult), so why fight it?

I used to be such a bubbly person, fun to be with, independent at a young age and I used to love adventure. Somehow I have become such a bitter lady, it’s shocking. Heartache and responsibility contributed. I have never liked acting like a victim, so I brushed some feelings away. Only to find out I sometimes blow off steam on the wrong people, pushing people that love me away because of trust issues. Making them pay for what other people did to me. The optimistic Sims became a cynic without realising. It was only when I was wallowing deep in it that I realised that it wasn’t me, also realising that I chose to hold onto pain instead of joy. I let so much darkness put out my light. There was also fighting responsibility because things didn’t work out the way I wanted them to, one of them was stressing about a job and where my next rent and grocery money would come from. (I have never had to stress about something like that ever) I am happy to say that, that’s no longer a problem now. I just hated being thrown in the deep end by life.  

Well, now that I know I am the problem. I shall work on bettering myself. I don’t know if it makes sense but I want to be my old self again, especially now that I know what to avoid or let me say I want my soul to be what it truly is because with these scars I can never be my old self.  Fortunately the bitterness hasn’t reached the core of me.

If you have been a victim of a bitter Sim, I apologise.

I am still young and I have a lot of things to go through, I pray that they make me a better person and not a bitter one.

xoxoxo